Saturday, July 27, 2013

Boring a house.

Buying a house should be an eyes wide open roller coaster of an experience, 48-76 hours of adrenaline fuelled white knuckle mayhem, a sleepless bloody cagefight with a signature at the end of it. Its not. Its dog shit. Its a drawn out and costly exercise in keeping good earners earning good money, keeping paper shufflers in paper to shuffle and the phone company in local rate phone calls. At the end if it all, its an anti-climax, "let's just sit down in our new home and think about wallpaper". NO! It should be a "Yes! Get the fuck in! I want a slide, a bar, and a fucking big settee in the shape of my glory and triumph as a successful hunter"! But by the time a collection of the least interesting people in the county have drained you of all enthusiasm and your spare cash, wallpaper is all you have left. If this really is the last post before adulthood, responsibility and maturity, I'd rather it was explosive, rude and made one hell of a mess...

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