7ft Swearing Racist Parrot To Rename Flash:

Adobe, the company behind the popular yet pointless software Flash, have commissioned a re branding of its irritation causing program. 
"We decided it was time to bring our software and ideas right up to date" said Cleveland Steamer, the company's speaktopeopleperson. "and reflect what many users experience every day, and what better than a large racist swearing parrot? Its genius"
Based on direct user feedback Flash is to be renamed Youblack Mutherfucker!, their entire PDF range will become, simply Welsh! while Shockwave, perhaps the least functional Adobe product, will be offered up as Squaaaaar Lazy Italian Shitpiece!
Its thought that this move could set ripples rippling right through the global software market, where there shouldn't really be any ripples at all. 
There is rumour Apple Inc are already considering commissioning a bigotted tramp with tourettes to bring a more honest edge to its broad range of differently sized objects, that all do roughly the same thing. 
Raas Bumboclaart, Apples Cheif of Speaks spoke: "Maybe we can look to more of the same in the future when it happens, or the present because that's when things actually happen. No really, things can't 'happen' in the future, or in the past, they can only happen 'now'. Seriously. I think you'll find I'm right"...