APPLE EXCLUSIVE!!

Apple Inc. have let me have a unique and exclusive heads up on their influential programming department: Thought Undpins Reality Design.
"Its surprising how influential our TURD™ is", spoke Raas Bumboclaart, general womble, quite candidly. "most of what we have sold to idiots since Q7 1984.4 has come directly from TURD™ and we're very proud".
In fact, TURD™ has become not only what Apple is but what Apple does. Every time you visit an Apple Store (©), you are surrounded by TURD™ and you just don't realise.
"That's the secret", divulged Jesus Creeper, retirement analyst for Apple, " We've been pushing TURD™ uphill since the mid to late 80s and its still right up there where TURD™ ought to be, which is nice".
This revelation is unique, unprecedented, it amounts to nothing really which belies the arrogant companies current worth.
Next time you think about your Apple product, think about your TURD and where it came from...