Bugger This.

Unfinished..

2012-02-08T11:28:00.001-08:00

I found this on my phone and remember starting to write it, as for why I left it I'll never know but the time had passed now...

Im going to do a blog. Im on a boat. Quite a nice boat. Quite a shit boat. Its one of those boats with a, and I use the term loosely, 'band'. Im not sure that the amateur musicians I've just seen could possibly be placed in that category without irony. Even the handle 'amateur musicians' is stretching it a tad. They were stood close to some cheap instruments and an audience. Well, I say audience...

St. Peter's Seminary, Cardonald.

2012-01-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

Today, I visited a ruin. Not any ruin but a ruin nonetheless. The inspiration for todays outing was the recent death of one of this buildings architects, Isi Msteetzi of Gillespie, Kidd & Coia . I could write a couple of thousand words about this building and not add anything to the thousands already written. Yes it's unused, yes it's derelict, that's what happens to buildings sometimes, especially one not in the hub of a community. What I will write though is that none of the degradation is caused by nature. In only a few minutes it's easy to see that the fabric of this 60 year old Brutalist monument has been destroyed in only couple of decades by vandals. Not tree roots, wind, rain , ice or sunshine. It's sheer bloody time and time again vandalism, even the main altar (a 2.5 ton piece of granite) has been broken into pieces and they will continue, until only the indestructible concrete skelton remains (which will be around long after the destructive bastards have gone). Anyhow, to see such a modern building, such an important building lying in rot is slightly eerie and serves to prove that death is not just for the elderly or infirm but for anything or anyone. Especially the neglected.

UK Storm Chasers..

2011-11-29T15:16:00.000-08:00

Don't panic, it's only a link. Nobody deserves another rambling mess...

It's here --> Clickety

The Daddy

2011-11-29T12:53:00.001-08:00

I kinda hoped that a YouTube frame would appear with a still from the video I wanted to share but no, all there is to see a bloody purple word link.. Good luck.... Watch "Bio JetDrier High Speed Hand Dryer for 2012" on YouTube

Fiscal ambiguity in popular music.

2011-11-21T14:17:00.001-08:00

I need a dollar, a dollar, a dollar is what I need. If I share my story with you will you share your dollar with me? (I'm paraphrasing there) So enquires Aloe Blacc in a gently irritating way and like a common beggar.. (out of all of the radios at once).
Now, assuming I was lacking in parsimony, overflowing with humanistic altruism and managed to muster enough interest to be bothered with his bloody story at the same time, where is my motivation? I can't help but feel that Lord Alan Sir Sugar of Amstrad, or those inferior TV half-dragon-half-money attic people would have a question or two about the future.
I feel Mr. Blacc has no clear idea of how his much his story might be worth to the passing public. Will it achieve the whole dollar? Is he open to fraud in this unregulated arm of financial services? His up front sales pitch is a little vague. This kind of ambiguity makes the whole deal look rather shaky as he appears to have overlooked several things:

*He needs a dollar but is asking for 'a share' of mine so he can't possibly realise more than 99¢ from the transaction without redefining "share" or picking my pocket.
*Does he expect me to be satisfied with up to 99% of his story?
*Assuming I agree to a 50/50 share of my buck, will he only tell half a story?
*What recourse do I have if his story is shit?
*I might not have a dollar (63p) at all.

Surely he ought to fix a price per performance to achieve his goal and expect either to recount his story several times or, to greater efficiency, just once, to several people, like a sort of concert. It's the kind of investment planning and monitoring that might spare us all a second single, or worse, a comeback in years to come. If he gets it right this time he can really have his dollar and lie in it.
So I say to you Aloe Blacc. Go away. Think about how badly you need a dollar and if the need is still there after producing a business plan and contract that clarifies both our obligations, then feel free to ask again for a share of my 63p.

I've thought about it too. I'll offer you a dime. For 70¢ of your story because I like your legs. Find some other suckers though eh and if I were you I'd try making a song about it...

Video

Reblog. A post from 2006...

2011-11-08T14:48:00.001-08:00

So you came back eh? Just for a tale of petty misery currently blighting my life. Everything was sweet til a couple of weeks ago when something happened which changed my life forever. I had a puncture. After the humiliation of changing a front tyre in the wake of rush hour traffic with knocking knees from the fight to control an uncontrollable vehicle, what should happen? I had a puncture. Guess what? No spare....... Here I am, two weeks and two new tyres later, at the side of a road on the hills changing a wheel with another bloody puncture. God has a strange sense of humour, if it wasnt so similar to mine Id go looking for him.......

A middle of the road opinion.

2011-10-30T01:09:00.001-07:00

Not a long one this as it's a middle lane of the motorway thing. I know I've banged on about this before but it really does annoy the absolute f*ck out of me and the only other thing I could think to winge about was eaten by my computer at about 250 words. Not short, not sweet, just forgotten...
I digress. Apparently the law says it is illegal (and dangerous) to 'undertake' on a UK motorway/dual carriageway ie: pass a moving vehicle on it's left hand side, there is probably a specific punishment for it although if there isn't I'm sure the nearest available point of law will serve instead just to prove a point. Now, here comes my opinion, and that I've laid a flawed preamble, it should work really quite well. Ultimately it shouldn't be possible to 'undertake' on any motorway or dual carriageway, anywhere, ever, without being a prick. Full stop. But we live in an imperfect world of sentences that begin with "but", "quiet" carriages on bloody noisy antiquated trains, more specifically we (I) live in a country where there is no compulsory education prior to using the least forgiving roads we have. A child can drive from the age of 14, book a test for their 17th birthday and within an hour be on a motorway, with every other clueless bell end who thinks they'll be alright as long as they don't get too close to the edge, some of whom have been clueless for decades about which bit of the motorway to make their own. I can make the most sincere of promises to anyone who thinks it's ok to sit in the centre lane (possibly in fear of falling right off the motorway and getting their shoes dirty) and they are:

Promise No. 1: If you use the nearside lane you and your passengers will not be crushed to death by a 22 stone pie eating HGV driver who is high on diesel and amphetimines, wanking, transporting 38 tons of dead prostitutes to a local shallow grave, asleep or all of the above.

Promise N0. 2: Should you stray into the outside lane I can say quite safely that you and your passengers will not be hunted down, stolen, raped, murdered, painted a different colour or otherwise inconvenienced unnecessarily by a white van driver, rep-in-a-vauxhall or anybody who has a proper job and just wants to go somewhere, with a glint of pure evil in their cold dead soul-less eyes.

So. Do me a favour, look left and see if there is room for your car to operate on that part of the motorway and if there is then for christ's sake use it and only use the outside lane for passing non reformed bell ends, not for trying not enforce the legal speed limit by providing a rolling road block at 70 (your'e only really doing 64mph anyway. Tosser).. Thank you.

There. Finished. You can go away now.

World Dryer...

2011-10-22T11:15:00.001-07:00

This solid reliable hand dryer with a sturdy enamel finish can look over any installation environment with an old statesmanlike air of confidence, experience and true stoicism, and make it it's own. With it's classic chrome rotating nozzle (for face as well as hand drying) and large chrome 'on' button, all the functional aesthetic boxes have been ticked. The design engineers have expertly struck the right balance between air temperature and airflow for the most pleasing and efficient drying experience. There is big satisfaction to be gained from activating the dryer via the solid punchable knob. This timeless bogwall classic has definitely set a high standard with an all round bathroom hygiene experience.
8/10

website

Shit German wiring

2011-10-15T10:25:00.001-07:00

This classic piece of shit wiring accompanied a classic shit german curry, in Germany. Unbelievably, it was just inches above the hand dryer (whose credentials I forget after being distracted by what you see here) that it fed in the restaurant toilet. I reckon those dark spots are flies shitty footprints too...