Endearing qualities, such as Rape and paedophilia could soon be outsourced to companies like Serco and G4s, along with fraud and negligence.
Government plans to reduce liability and increase profitability from criminal behaviour took a step closer to reality yesterday when plans to privatise a string of the most heinous crimes were published.
Rape (including gang rape), paedophilia and serial murder will all be offered to the private sector to, "increase competition and provide an improved heinous crime provision to the general public, as afforded by open market competition".
The flagship policy has encountered a mixed reception, with companies like Serco, G4s and AT0S, all already skilled in private sector shafting, hailing it as an" unbelievable gift ". While human rights groups call for " something a bit nicer " instead.
Meanwhile, the unbelievably bribable and easily pocketed Competition and Monopoly quango have made no comment, citing that another thing was happening in the other direction, that wasn't government sponsored...